Banishing the blues
Blue Monday is now behind us and yet for many people loneliness is something they experience every day.
I was privileged to be at the launch of the Jo Cox Loneliness Commission last week and hear Kim Leadbetter, her sister, talk first-hand about her feelings of loneliness when her sister went away to university.
There has been a big focus on the loneliness experienced by older people, it is great that this commission is seeking to tackle the loneliness experienced by people of all ages, and in all sorts of circumstances – the disabled, young mums, children and single men. It is important to recognise that many of the people who are lonely in later life may have had lifelong issues that have made it harder for them to make and sustain strong social networks.
From our research having social connections is important to a good later life. For some people this is about having an active social life with opportunities to engage in their local community or pursue hobbies and interests. I spoke this week on You and Yours about the benefits of being involved in groups like U3A. There was a lovely interview with Wendy who was housebound but hosted a U3A group in her home. The stimulation and interaction that she and those who joined the group enjoyed was palpable. Learning new things, being mentally stimulated and sharing knowledge and experience with others all add to people’s sense of wellbeing.
For others, including people who are housebound or whose mobility is limited, it means regular contact with friends and family. My grandmother was a great example. She got more than 60 cards on her 93rd birthday and was still in touch regularly with many friends and relatives of all ages despite having been disabled for over 30 years.
For others, including people who are housebound or whose mobility is limited, it means regular contact with friends and family. My grandmother was a great example. She got more than 60 cards on her 93rd birthday and was still in touch regularly with many friends and relatives of all ages despite having been disabled for over 30 years.
For some, like 89-year-old Joe Bartley it means getting a job. The social interaction that people get at work is particularly valued by older workers according to our latest evidence briefing.
It is also important we have someone to rely on when we need help, for example when we have a health crisis or begin to lose capacity. This close relationship needs to be strong, trusted and reciprocal. For many the assumption is that this role is filled by a partner, spouse or close relative. But what if there is no one? If you are widowed, divorced or no longer live with your partner who will you turn to?
As more of us are ageing without children, either because of infertility, choice or because our children are estranged, deceased or living abroad, there is perhaps a greater need to think who will play this role. Ageing Without Children hosted a seminar this week where these issues were discussed. It was particularly poignant in a week in which the Minister of State for Social Care David Mowatt suggested people should take responsibility for caring for their parents in the same way they would for their children. For the 1.3 million people who are already providing 50 hours a week of unpaid care to family and friends this probably felt like an insult. For many people, caring impacts on their own health, their ability to sustain work and can result in social isolation.
It is important that we build and maintain social connections throughout life and have the help and support we need at particularly difficult times in our lives to renew social relationships. For example, when we retire, when a partner dies, when we take on caring responsibilities for a loved one or having become ill or disabled. Jo Cox wanted us to start a conversation – stop and chat to a neighbour, give your gran a ring, fix up to meet that friend you’ve not heard from in ages. You never know it might just banish your blues too.